It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious