You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again