Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (217)

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Last Night in Illinois (217)

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(217): View more from Illinois

Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?

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(217): View more from Illinois

You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.

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(217): View more from Illinois

why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list

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(217): View more from Illinois

This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool

(217): View more from Illinois

Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito

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(217): View more from Illinois

Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?

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