I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...