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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
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