And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?