fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...