I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you