he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site