Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't want you to recite the pledge!

  (631): View more from New York

  Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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  (631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx
  Replies (20) Good night (3542) Bad night (721)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Lol no its called college

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  (216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq
  Replies (44) Good night (3514) Bad night (554)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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  (586): Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white? http://tfl.nu/dlzj
  Replies (28) Good night (2726) Bad night (539)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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  (310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu
  Replies (15) Good night (3721) Bad night (594)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.

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  (502): oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us. http://tfl.nu/ayu5
  Replies (84) Good night (925) Bad night (4539)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.

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  (763): i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately. http://tfl.nu/s9fu
  Replies (17) Good night (876) Bad night (4798)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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  (484): I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock' http://tfl.nu/bqqm
  Replies (12) Good night (4715) Bad night (817)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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  (605): there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife. http://tfl.nu/kzgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1526) Bad night (5814)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.

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  (803): i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to. http://tfl.nu/ojj7
  Replies (10) Good night (824) Bad night (4022)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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  (708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek
  Replies (10) Good night (4455) Bad night (831)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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  (423): You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING." http://tfl.nu/28kd
  Replies (5) Good night (2666) Bad night (1313)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5066) Bad night (879)
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  (619): View more from California

  im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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  (619): im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet http://tfl.nu/up6c
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (1884)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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  (360): just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe. http://tfl.nu/xu32
  Replies (6) Good night (2325) Bad night (928)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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  (215): I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that. http://tfl.nu/79sp
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (209)

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