She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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