are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Rumble strips road head = magical
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
