ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
