dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
