After last night, I could never be a politician.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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