watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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