I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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