meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
