My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?