What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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