nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize