My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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