When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
