i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
