it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
