as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
