You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
