So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
