In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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