I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize