I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
