I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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