He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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