Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
