Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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