Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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