I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
