The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The air taste purple.
Randomize