my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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