did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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