i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
