I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
They took my balls.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
