The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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