Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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