He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
