I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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