u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
