he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
