I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
