Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
