i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
