Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
