Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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