I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize