Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize