She's JV to your varsity
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
